Into the bottomless pit

its been quite a while since i felt so lost, so helpless about everything. its like the feeling of being of being in a bottomless pit, spiralling down and down not knowing when you are going to ever stop. truth be told, i'm tired of this life, tired of everything thats happening around me. i've been dreaming again and again that i will get into a car accident, even though i kw its wrong to think of such stuff. But i cant help it because even if i am gone, will anyone care? perhaps people may tell me oh dont worry some people still cares for you, but honestly, life still goes on as normal w/o me. i'm just like a firm practising perfect competition, having a very minor share in this world, insignificant, and a perfect substitute. anyone can replace me even if i'm gone. i'm tired of pretending to be happy when i'm not. i'm tired of living, but i will hold on at least until syf.


nothing matters anymore. nothing.
maybe except syf.